I planted a garden. cucumbers here, green beans there. couple rows of watermelon, some peppers, tomatoes, and some corn. I watered my garden everyday. soon I saw some greenery sprout up. yay! a few days later as I was walking in the yard, I saw some plants that looked just like my garden. ugh! weeds! so I walked over to my 'baby' and started plucking. soon after, it began to sprout again. CORN! YAY! no weeds this time but the corn was sure growing fast. up came the green beans. next came the melons and 1 each pepper and tomato. everyday for a week I was able to pluck 2 single string beans from my garden. not enough to make a meal. soon they withered away. summer heat. I saw the corn was ripe for harvest and plucked em off. good eatin, right? uh...no. each ear was only half full of kernel. they too withered away. summer heat! someone drug a hose across my pepper and it broke. :(. I noticed a yellow bloom on my tomato. Alright! but I wanted watermelon. they branched out, yet did not produce fruit. they too, withered away. still no cucumbers. summer heat! I continued to water my tomato plant which had grown to be a rather big vine. no one understood why I kept watering a plant that would soon wither and die. but I saw a lil more everyday. green then red. and ready for pickin. on the day o harvest I was excited! I plucked my tomato and looked at it. small and scarred but red as can be.I was so proud of that tomato. the others flourished until it began to get hot. then they dried up. but through all the heat, that tomato grew. when I plucked that tomato and showed it off ppl looked at me like I was crazy. rejoicing over a tiny scarred tomato.. See, when I saw the tomato, God showed me that I was that tomato. When others around me could not withstand the heat, they quit. The cucumbers never grew, green beans weren't fruitful enough, corn incomplete, melons unfruitful, and peppers destroyed. but that tomato was determined to make it. no matter how hot it was. scarred and all.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
To Whom It May Concern
Have u ever wondered how u can help someone else when u have gotten to a place where u can barely help yourself?
I have been there plenty times. God always brings someone my way when I feel I can't go further.
I have been so depressed and down on myself about my lack of a career, my absence from my sons life, and raising my daughter on welfare. I have even been so discouraged about my illness, yes, I get discouraged for a moment, that I lost my self worth.
Each time someone came my way who was in the same situation. I felt for that person and began to encourage them.
By the time I finished with them, I felt better about myself. Suddenly my problems seemed to shrink. My own words repeated through my mind and I began to try to live what I had been telling. At the same time I was ministering to them, God was speaking to me. HE was letting me know that I was not alone.
If you are reading this, its not my chance. I was hesitant to even begin this blog. But it pulled at me.
Even to the point where I could not sleep. I can sense the need of someone out there struggling with illness, abuse, depression, or some other stronghold that someone needs to be healed from.
I'm not perfect by far, but each night as I lie in my bed I see the faces of women who are hurting in someway. They are of many races, ages, sizes, and locales. They are crying. Pleading, Praying, Seeking, and Listening. Patiently waiting for Someone to answer.
There is one who sits in a chair knitting. She wears glasses at times. She is constantly in pain. Even contemplating suicide at times. She is very creative, yet insecure. At times she is so down on herself she can't even rise from bed.
Somewhere in her life, she has been hurt. And recovery is taking what seems to be a lifetime. She does not she who she used to see in the mirror, instead sees a stranger. She has prayed. Asking God if He even hears her. HE does. He sees her crying, and He stops her from taking the life He gave her. She has her doubts, but ahe also has a small amount of FAITH, enough to ask, wait and listen patiently for a response. Well Carry on and continue climbing the mountain. Do not Go around the Mountain, Climb it. The journey will strengthen you. When you get to the top, Shout out and tell the World you are there. then stand and gaze out among the territory below that you have been blessed with. Never again will you be in the Valley, You will reign from the Mountain top.
Another sits at a desk. She is concerned with others more than herself and her kindness has been taken advantage of. She is busy. Growing tired and ready to cash out. She and her household are likened to a valley that has been torched, not by nature but by arson. Set ablaze by the jealousy of another who can not stand to see the beauty in her and the life she has brought forth. After the fire has burned out and the rain has fallen, new life springs forth. You just have to wait for it to sprout. That takes time. The Sycamore did not take a day to grow. Patience through all the adversity will bring much success. The fire has burned much, but you survived. If you give up and walk out of the meadow you will miss the flowers when they bloom. It is yours. Your mustard seed faith earned it.
I'm not perfect by far. I have my faults, but I know when I hear the Voice of God speak to me. Obedience is better than Sacrifice, and everytime I heed to what I hear, a little part of me grows. I am growing stronger both spiritually and physically because of my faith.
If you read this and you write, continue to write. Write even when it makes no sense to you. It will make sense to someone else.
If you are sick, continue to believe.
I have been there plenty times. God always brings someone my way when I feel I can't go further.
I have been so depressed and down on myself about my lack of a career, my absence from my sons life, and raising my daughter on welfare. I have even been so discouraged about my illness, yes, I get discouraged for a moment, that I lost my self worth.
Each time someone came my way who was in the same situation. I felt for that person and began to encourage them.
By the time I finished with them, I felt better about myself. Suddenly my problems seemed to shrink. My own words repeated through my mind and I began to try to live what I had been telling. At the same time I was ministering to them, God was speaking to me. HE was letting me know that I was not alone.
If you are reading this, its not my chance. I was hesitant to even begin this blog. But it pulled at me.
Even to the point where I could not sleep. I can sense the need of someone out there struggling with illness, abuse, depression, or some other stronghold that someone needs to be healed from.
I'm not perfect by far, but each night as I lie in my bed I see the faces of women who are hurting in someway. They are of many races, ages, sizes, and locales. They are crying. Pleading, Praying, Seeking, and Listening. Patiently waiting for Someone to answer.
There is one who sits in a chair knitting. She wears glasses at times. She is constantly in pain. Even contemplating suicide at times. She is very creative, yet insecure. At times she is so down on herself she can't even rise from bed.
Somewhere in her life, she has been hurt. And recovery is taking what seems to be a lifetime. She does not she who she used to see in the mirror, instead sees a stranger. She has prayed. Asking God if He even hears her. HE does. He sees her crying, and He stops her from taking the life He gave her. She has her doubts, but ahe also has a small amount of FAITH, enough to ask, wait and listen patiently for a response. Well Carry on and continue climbing the mountain. Do not Go around the Mountain, Climb it. The journey will strengthen you. When you get to the top, Shout out and tell the World you are there. then stand and gaze out among the territory below that you have been blessed with. Never again will you be in the Valley, You will reign from the Mountain top.
Another sits at a desk. She is concerned with others more than herself and her kindness has been taken advantage of. She is busy. Growing tired and ready to cash out. She and her household are likened to a valley that has been torched, not by nature but by arson. Set ablaze by the jealousy of another who can not stand to see the beauty in her and the life she has brought forth. After the fire has burned out and the rain has fallen, new life springs forth. You just have to wait for it to sprout. That takes time. The Sycamore did not take a day to grow. Patience through all the adversity will bring much success. The fire has burned much, but you survived. If you give up and walk out of the meadow you will miss the flowers when they bloom. It is yours. Your mustard seed faith earned it.
I'm not perfect by far. I have my faults, but I know when I hear the Voice of God speak to me. Obedience is better than Sacrifice, and everytime I heed to what I hear, a little part of me grows. I am growing stronger both spiritually and physically because of my faith.
If you read this and you write, continue to write. Write even when it makes no sense to you. It will make sense to someone else.
If you are sick, continue to believe.
Crawlspace
It started with a gas leak. The Querin family had purchased a home on W. 18th st. It was an old tudor home built in 1919. Sandra Querin, the niece of Edwin Querin, smelled gas coming from the back yard. the gas company was called out to investigate aand notice a leak in the mainline. Service was cutoff and a plumber was called.
Andrew Daniels was a deacon for Mr. Querins church. He was also the church plumber. He donned his coveralls and went below the home. HE quickly resurfaced. .His face pale and his eyes as if he had seen a ghost.
"There are bones under there" he said. Andy was always a prankster. Never serious about anything. So naturally no one believed him. Sandra grew curious. She was a forensic anthropology student at the University and this caught her attention.
"I'll go check" she said as the family gathered outside. "but you're coming with me," she ordered andrew.
She grabbed the lantern and flashlight and crawled beneath. "Vietnam Style," Andrew joked.
"just hush and shine the light you big sissy," she replied.
She Crawled in about 5 feet and began to feel an eerie presence. " This is creepy" She said to him as they crawled further.
"can you see them" He asked. At that moment she noticed a collection of what appeared to be bones piled beneath the main sewage pipe. "yeah, I see something," she inched closer.
Suddenly out of nowhere a young girl appeared. She was dressed in a white gown and had blond hair. Her eyes were white as snow.She stared her in the eyes and quickly retreated. "I've seen enough" she said as she scooted hurriedly out from beneath the house." Call police, there are definately human bones beneath this home." She told her Uncle as She approached the door.
Andrew Daniels was a deacon for Mr. Querins church. He was also the church plumber. He donned his coveralls and went below the home. HE quickly resurfaced. .His face pale and his eyes as if he had seen a ghost.
"There are bones under there" he said. Andy was always a prankster. Never serious about anything. So naturally no one believed him. Sandra grew curious. She was a forensic anthropology student at the University and this caught her attention.
"I'll go check" she said as the family gathered outside. "but you're coming with me," she ordered andrew.
She grabbed the lantern and flashlight and crawled beneath. "Vietnam Style," Andrew joked.
"just hush and shine the light you big sissy," she replied.
She Crawled in about 5 feet and began to feel an eerie presence. " This is creepy" She said to him as they crawled further.
"can you see them" He asked. At that moment she noticed a collection of what appeared to be bones piled beneath the main sewage pipe. "yeah, I see something," she inched closer.
Suddenly out of nowhere a young girl appeared. She was dressed in a white gown and had blond hair. Her eyes were white as snow.She stared her in the eyes and quickly retreated. "I've seen enough" she said as she scooted hurriedly out from beneath the house." Call police, there are definately human bones beneath this home." She told her Uncle as She approached the door.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Running From Purpose (Strange Calling)
I have been in church my whole life. My grandmother started us off in the AME church. We were eager to go every sunday we spent during the Summers in Perris. At home in Barstow God sent the McConnells, Bro Bill and Sister Gertie to take the neighborhood kids to Trinity Baptist. We were always part of the programs they had there. Thats where I began to love church. I've attended apostolic, pentacostal, baptist, ame, non-denominational, 7th day adventist, etc. I found my love in Deliverance.
When I was a child I heard a knock on the back door. When I opened the door I saw a man dressed in a white gown. His skin was olive, his hair thick shiny brown, his eyes like amber. His voice calming like ocean waves against the sand. He said to me, "Come walk with me my child. I will take you through your life." I walked around the backyard with Him. He showed me my life. My troubles, my pain, my struggles. All the while holding my tiny hand. He said my life would not be easy, and I would see and experience things I would not understand at first but to hold on to His hand and I would make it through. He told me I was special in His Kingdom and would do great things. Then He walked me back to the door. He said,"because you heard me knock and opened the door, I will be with you all the days of your life. You are my child and I love you." I said bye to Him and my dad asked me who I was taking too. "JESUS, daddy." I replied. "There is no one there," he said.
I was 2 years old.
Fast forward. Here I am older and beginning to see and hear things. I see figures. Transparent figures. I feel their presence. I hear them when they speak. Some evil. Some good.
I've seen Angels and Demons battling in the Spirit Realm. I've heard the cries of souls crying out from the EARTH and seen them reaching their hands from beneath the surface. Clouds are no longer clouds to me. They are secret messages, images depicting battle, victory, comfort. Like the hand of the Lord. His army preparing for battle. Things others would not see.
I've heard a whisper in my ear when I feel the presence of darkness around me. Names. So I rebuke them. Many ppl would consider me to be crazy. I am perfectly sane. I asked the Lord to show me the world as He sees it, and I began to see in the Spirit. I can sense evil in someone and recognize the direct source.
I chose to run. What I began to see, frightened me. I worried about what other people said about me. The more I ran the more I began to see. I began to lose my breath at night. To feel as if I were burning during the day.
I chose to return and answer my calling. Realizing I had been chosen for a purpose and given a gift others do not understand. I remember the Lord saying that if we are ashamed of Him, He will be ashamed of us. If we deny Him here, He will deny us in Heaven.
We are running short on time. In a world where we are accepting actions that are immoral. We use the symbol of promise as a symbol of immorality. We Hate more than we Love. We do not recognize the source of sin and remove it. We pray without Faith. We do not believe in the power of God, but rather believe in the power of Man. Man has no power but that which is given him by God Himself. Do not Hate them that sin, Rather pray for them. We all sin. Sin is sin. Recognize the source and remove it. Love. You are commanded to do so.
We are coming to a point where we will no longer be able to speak out. Many will be lost because of blindess, fear and disbelief.
Believe in the Power of God. Believe in His works. Trust Him. We wrestle not against flesh and blood...... Believe that.
I know I will be persecuted for writing this. I don not care. No one on this Earth Created me. No one on this Earth will Judge me in the end. I prefer to make my Lord happy, rather than gain the Aproval of MAN!
When I was a child I heard a knock on the back door. When I opened the door I saw a man dressed in a white gown. His skin was olive, his hair thick shiny brown, his eyes like amber. His voice calming like ocean waves against the sand. He said to me, "Come walk with me my child. I will take you through your life." I walked around the backyard with Him. He showed me my life. My troubles, my pain, my struggles. All the while holding my tiny hand. He said my life would not be easy, and I would see and experience things I would not understand at first but to hold on to His hand and I would make it through. He told me I was special in His Kingdom and would do great things. Then He walked me back to the door. He said,"because you heard me knock and opened the door, I will be with you all the days of your life. You are my child and I love you." I said bye to Him and my dad asked me who I was taking too. "JESUS, daddy." I replied. "There is no one there," he said.
I was 2 years old.
Fast forward. Here I am older and beginning to see and hear things. I see figures. Transparent figures. I feel their presence. I hear them when they speak. Some evil. Some good.
I've seen Angels and Demons battling in the Spirit Realm. I've heard the cries of souls crying out from the EARTH and seen them reaching their hands from beneath the surface. Clouds are no longer clouds to me. They are secret messages, images depicting battle, victory, comfort. Like the hand of the Lord. His army preparing for battle. Things others would not see.
I've heard a whisper in my ear when I feel the presence of darkness around me. Names. So I rebuke them. Many ppl would consider me to be crazy. I am perfectly sane. I asked the Lord to show me the world as He sees it, and I began to see in the Spirit. I can sense evil in someone and recognize the direct source.
I chose to run. What I began to see, frightened me. I worried about what other people said about me. The more I ran the more I began to see. I began to lose my breath at night. To feel as if I were burning during the day.
I chose to return and answer my calling. Realizing I had been chosen for a purpose and given a gift others do not understand. I remember the Lord saying that if we are ashamed of Him, He will be ashamed of us. If we deny Him here, He will deny us in Heaven.
We are running short on time. In a world where we are accepting actions that are immoral. We use the symbol of promise as a symbol of immorality. We Hate more than we Love. We do not recognize the source of sin and remove it. We pray without Faith. We do not believe in the power of God, but rather believe in the power of Man. Man has no power but that which is given him by God Himself. Do not Hate them that sin, Rather pray for them. We all sin. Sin is sin. Recognize the source and remove it. Love. You are commanded to do so.
We are coming to a point where we will no longer be able to speak out. Many will be lost because of blindess, fear and disbelief.
Believe in the Power of God. Believe in His works. Trust Him. We wrestle not against flesh and blood...... Believe that.
I know I will be persecuted for writing this. I don not care. No one on this Earth Created me. No one on this Earth will Judge me in the end. I prefer to make my Lord happy, rather than gain the Aproval of MAN!
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